Fool
by LMG
Summary: Harry left Draco. For seven months Draco was alone with only a bottle to console him. Now, with Harry in St. Mungo’s, Draco has a chance to find out what went wrong. ---ON HIATUS SEE AUTHORS NOTES, PLEASE
1. Chapter 1

Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.

Thank you to Merlin, GoldenSunnyGrl, and Malombra for being such great BETA'S.

AU. Established relationship. Harry/Draco pairing.

Summary: Harry left Draco. For seven months Draco was alone with only a bottle to console him. Now, with Harry in St. Mungo's, Draco has a chance to find out what went wrong.

ENJOY!

****

CHAPTER ONE

She walked up to him and sat without invitation. He coolly watched her as he sipped his well-prepared alcoholic drink. By the looks of her, he would need more quickly. With a nod of his head he motioned to the waitress to bring him another drink.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Ms. Weasley?" Draco Malfoy asked in a cool emotionless voice.

Ginny Weasley wanted to hurt this man before her, cut him up into little pieces so small no one would find him. Ever. She reigned in the sudden viciousness of her thoughts to say what she had come here to say. "Let him go."

Draco raised an elegant eyebrow to her and asked in a bored tone, "let who go?"

"You know who I am talking about." She snarled. She was beautiful in her fury. "Quit hurting him and let him go."

Draco was silent as he contemplated his now empty glass. He looked around the room desperately trying not to catch her angry gaze. Where the bloody hell was his drink?

"I love him," she said, her tone showing how much this confrontation was actually costing her, "and like a fool I thought I could make him love me."

Draco fought to keep his face from showing how much her confession was hurting _him_, "I still fail to see how this involves me."

"Because, you bastard, he still loves you!" Ginny had tried to keep her voice from shrieking loudly but it was an impossible task. Silence fell as the waitress set down his new drink and took the empty glass away.

Draco looked away again. It was then that she finally noticed how pale he was and how his hands were shaking so that the ice in his glass gently clinked against the sides. His robes, once so immaculate, seemed old and dirty. His hair was neat but not in his usual style. The edge of his cuff, just peaking past his robe, was frayed, as if he played with it constantly.

Calmly, so calmly it was scary even to himself, he turned to say to her, "he is the one that left me, Ms. Weasley. I can not help you."

Ginny was stunned and all she could do was stare at him. Harry had left him? "But…I thought…"

"It matters not what you thought. Harry left me." Draco said coldly. He turned his attention back to his drink, intent on ignoring her.

He didn't know how long she stayed before she left but when he next looked up, he was again alone. Just like he had been since Harry had left him, seven months ago.

Not wanting to relive the memories he signaled the waitress and when she arrived he ordered two bottles of their finest scotch, told her how to call his house elf when the distraction charm he was going to cast on his booth wore off and then he proceeded to get very, very drunk.

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Three nights later, same bar, same booth. He had not planned on coming here tonight but the thought of going back to the empty apartment had left him feeling more depressed than usual. He had managed to keep his memories at bay with enough scotch and he still didn't have the nerve to face them. He was sipping his second drink when he felt someone sit down beside him. He knew, without looking, who it was and he spat out before he could stop himself.

"I still can't help you, Ms. Weasley. Please, leave me alone."

"I can't." She whispered.

That drew his gaze and he saw her swollen lips and tear stained face and he was shocked at his concern. "What happened?"

"There has been an…incident." She said haltingly. "I need you to come with me."

Draco forced a sneer to his lips. "I have to go nowhere."

Ginny raised pain filled eyes to his cold ones, "it's Harry."

"Harry?" Draco could not keep the pain from his voice. He grit his teeth and taking a sip of his drink regarded her coldly. "It matters not what 'incident' involves him. I told you before, leave me alone."

Ginny shook her head. She had went against Harry's wishes by coming to see him and she was damned if she was leaving without him. "He's in St. Mungo's."

Draco felt the wash of fear that coursed through him at her words. He wanted not to ask. He wanted not to care. Damn it! He had left him! With a sigh Draco stood up, "let's go."

They apperated to St. Mungo's and walked silently down the corridor to where they were keeping Harry. He faltered when he saw Ron and Hermione standing in the hallway outside of a guarded closed door. Hermione was crying and Ron was doing his best to comfort her.

"What happened?" He asked the girl beside him.

Ginny searched his pale face and had to swallow down more tears and anger, "he found out I went to see you. He…look Malfoy, I love Harry, but there has never been anything between us. There could be but…"

Draco waved her to silence. He didn't want to hear her hopes and dreams about _his_ lover. "What happened?"

"He tried to kill himself." There was no way to say it gently and she could tell that it hurt him greatly.

Draco stopped in the middle of the hallway and just looked at her. His last thought was that it was a good thing he was in a hospital before he let the blackness overcome him.

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Here's something I have been working on for a little while. The updates on this one will be infrequent as I am not sure where I am going to go with this. There have been so many stories lately about why Harry would leave Draco, I myself have one with 'Trails of Blood' series. I want to do something that has not been done a lot. But can't think of what to use. I DO have a plot for this but until I come up with a reason for Harry leaving Draco…the updates will be few and far between.

Anyone got any suggestions I would be happy to hear them.

ENJOY!

LMG


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.

Thank you to Merlin, GoldenSunnyGrl, and Malombra for being such great BETA'S.

AU. Established relationship. Harry/Draco pairing.

ENJOY!

**CHAPTER TWO**

He was swimming in memories. Unwanted memories. He had tried so hard not to think of the times that they had shared. He didn't like pain and this pain threatened to tear him apart.

He saw them as they went on their first date. Their first kiss. The first time they made love.

Everything was painful now. All those memories that he had cherished before were like hot rods of metal being pounded into his chest.

He moaned as he regained consciousness. Draco looked around and saw that someone had settled him into a chair beside a hospital bed. A longer look and he recognized the hand that was laying on the edge of the bed. It was Harry's. He was in Harry's hospital room. That was Harry laying on the bed.

Draco drew in a deep shuddering breath as he reached out to touch Harry's hand.

"He's stable, now." Hermione's soft voice startled him and he quickly moved his hand back to his lap before he turned to look at her.

Hermione and Ron were standing by the door, Ginny beside them. Draco took in their haggard appearance before he licked his lips and asked quietly "how long?"

"A few hours." Ginny said as she stepped up to sit in the other chair beside Draco.

Draco turned to look at the bed, "what happened?"

Surprisingly it was Ron that answered and in a tone that carried only worry for his friend, "potion. They pumped his stomach and got most of it out and then gave him the antidote. Now, we wait."

Draco's hands were now shaking. "What potion?"

Hermione answered this time. "It was Endless Sleep potion."

On the outside Draco didn't show much reaction to that but on the inside he was frozen. Harry had really wanted to kill himself. That potion worked very well, Draco should know as it was his creation. Within hours of drinking it the antidote was useless and the drinker would sleep forever, or until the body just gave up.

"Who?"

Again it was Hermione who spoke, "me."

Draco nodded. Her being the one to find him would be the reason he was still alive, Hermione was his research partner and would know what he had taken with a simple sniff of the vial.

He could feel his body shaking now. It was also hard to drag in air. He didn't want to break down in front of them, Malfoy upbringing and all, but he couldn't stop it now. With a small unMalfoy like whimper, he dragged himself up out of his chair and got his first look at Harry in seven months.

Honestly, Draco had thought he looked like hell but Harry, looked like hell over done.

"Oh, God!" Draco whispered before he grabbed Harry's hand and laid his head on Harry's slow moving chest, his sob's loud in the room.

Hermione turned to Ron as she listened to her friend breakdown. She had tried to be there for both of them, but, she didn't know what had happened to help them. One day they were ecstatically happy and the next Harry was gone. She had helped pick up the pieces when Draco fell.

Harry wouldn't tell her what happened and Draco didn't know. She hadn't seen the signs. She hadn't been a good enough friend to either of them.

"I'm so sorry." Draco whispered to Harry as he cried out his pain. "I take back whatever it was that I did. Please, Harry don't die. Don't leave me."

"It wasn't you." Ginny said brokenly as she watched another man cry over the one she loved.

"What? Ginny what do you know?" Ron said quietly. Draco looked at her, tears falling unashamedly down his face.

"It wasn't you Draco." Ginny said again. She twisted her hands in her lap as she stared pleadingly at the man she knew she could never be. "I didn't want him to be with you. All my life I had dreamed that we would be together. I hated you so much."

"What did you do, Ginny?" Hermione asked with horror.

"I didn't make Harry leave," Ginny said hurriedly, "but I do know why he left. I wanted him to be with me, so, I didn't tell anyone. I didn't know he would do this, I swear!"

"Why?" Draco croaked out. He was holding Harry's hand tightly in his own. He wasn't going to leave him ever again.

"I found him on my doorstep a few days after he left you." Ginny said softly. "He didn't know where else to go!"

Draco looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"He said that something happened but he didn't tell me what. It wasn't until later that I found out he had been cursed. He couldn't go back to you after that, he said. That is why he left. That is why he miscarried. And that is why he took that potion. Because of you!" Ginny accused.

Draco looked at her in surprise, "what are you talking about? He was cursed? Why didn't he come to me? Why!" Draco was screaming at her and then he went still and silent before he whispered, "miscarriage?"

Ginny nodded as her own tears fell.

Draco dropped his head back down to Harry's chest as he started to cry again.

"But you said it wasn't Draco, Ginny?" Hermione said.

"It wasn't, it was me." Ginny said sadly. "I convinced him to leave, even though I knew it wasn't right."

"If you thought that, why did you convince Harry to leave Draco?" Ron snapped at her. He couldn't believe his own sister had done this to his best friend.

"Because I wanted him for myself." Ginny said as she stood. She walked to Draco and put a hand on his shoulder. She forced herself to talk calmly. Her hand tightened on Draco's shoulder when he tried to pull away. She stared at him trying to get him to understand. "I was a fool. He thought you wouldn't want to be with him anymore when you found out about the miscarriage. I tried to talk to him about it when it was clear he would never love me like I wanted him too. But he was too depressed. He wouldn't listen to me. I came to find you that night but you told me to leave. He found out I went to see you, he was irrational, I didn't know what else to do so I told him what I had found out. He went completely insane, screaming at me, at himself for what he had done to you both. I was terrified for him. He stormed out of my apartment. I went to Hermione's and we went looking for him."

"I found him in the office. I don't know what made me go there to look," Hermione said as she cried into her husband's shoulder.

"He was unconscious when we found him." Ron said as he held Hermione, he was crying himself even though he had tried to hold it in. It wasn't manly to cry but he just couldn't stop himself.

"I told him, when he asked me to marry him, that I would never leave him. How could he believe that of me?" Draco asked. He had turned from Ginny and was looking at Harry. He had hurt in the last months, more than he ever thought possible. But the man that he loved had hurt even worse. What had Harry been through? Draco couldn't even begin to understand.

"I'm not leaving him now." Draco promised himself, Harry, and those in the room.

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For all of you that asked, FFN deleted my story 'I Understand'. The reason given was not one I understood as it made no sense. I do not know if I will repost the story here. I lost almost 1300 reviews, 52 chapters, and three years of my life when they did this.

I got no warning that this was going to happen. I had no chance to fix whatever it was that they considered wrong about the story. Now, I don't know what their criteria is when they delete a story, but I am going to assume it's not a lot.

I am sorry for all of you that were waiting for the last few chapters of that story, honestly, I haven't even felt like finishing it. I had to force myself to get this chapter done and to you so it may not be as good as the previous chapters. I apologize for that.

ENJOY!

LMG


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.

Thank you to Merlin, GoldenSunnyGrl, and Malombra for being such great BETA'S.

AU. Established relationship. Harry/Draco pairing.

ENJOY!

**CHAPTER THREE **

Draco was sitting in the same chair he had sat in for the last eighteen days. He was in worse shape than he was before Harry had attempted to kill himself but nothing was able to make him leave his side short of bodily functions. And even then he left the bathroom door open. Ginny had been by and sat with him more times than he felt comfortable with but he didn't spare any energy telling her to leave.

The doctors had been confident that Harry would wake up, in the beginning. But now, he could tell that their smiles and confidence were forced. Hermione was there, as well as Ron, but Draco ignored everyone but Harry.

He bathed him daily. He exercised his limbs daily. And with every breath he took he told him how much he loved him.

His mother showed up on the thirteenth day and though Draco didn't ignore her completely, he didn't pay attention to her either. Just the fact that she was there, supporting him and Harry for the first time since she had been told, was enough for him.

His own health was deteriorating. Looking at himself in the mirror was frightening. He knew that this was slowly killing him but he didn't care.

He was wiping the sweat from Harry's thin and pale chest when his doctors came in. Draco spared them only a glance at first but then turned to look more closely when their expressions registered.

"What is it?" He said with a small grimace at how weak his voice sounded. Whispering to Harry was not enough to keep his voice in a fair working order it seemed.

"Mr. Malfoy-" the first doctor started to say.

"It's Potter actually." Draco's voice was sharp and he felt a small sense of satisfaction when the doctor that had spoken flinched.

With a nod to acknowledge the man's mistake he spoke again, "Mr. Potter, we need to talk to you about your husband and the next few days of treatment."

Draco just looked at all three men and then nodded slowly. The bad feeling intensified and he grabbed Harry's hand tightly in his own.

Each man shared a glance and the same man sighed before saying quietly and softly, knowing exactly what his words were going to do to the man he was speaking too.

"Mr. Potter's organs are going to begin to fail. If he doesn't wake up in the next few days so that we can give him the next potion to finish purging his system the rest of the way, he has two weeks, maybe three before his systems begin to shut down."

It took a few seconds for what they were saying to register in Draco's tired mind. When it did, he did the one thing that Malfoy's were famous for. Covering up their emotions with sarcasm.

"Well, then, it seems to me that you should be finding a way to wake him up instead of in here bothering me."

Each doctor froze and had to stop themselves from responding to his comment. Lashing out at others was a way to live with their grief, each of them knew that. The only problem was, the Malfoy's could do more to each of them if he decided to do more than just lash out. Doctor's have been know to mysteriously disappear after making one from the Malfoy Clan angry.

"Draco!" Hermione's sharp admonishment was met with a roll of blue eyes and a sharp glare at the doctors who then tried to walk over each other in their attempts to leave.

"Was that necessary?" Hermione asked sharply after the last doctor left.

Though he was in need of sleep and knew that that always loosened his tongue it still didn't stop him from responding, "yes."

"They are doing the best that they can, Draco." Hermione said gently.

"I know." Draco's voice, though weak, was rough.

"I've been trying to figure out why he hasn't woken up yet." draco had heard this tone of voice before, it was her 'I know something that you are not going to want to hear' tone.

"And?" Draco encouraged when she hesitated.

"I think he had to have taken something first before attempting the potion." Draco nodded in agreement. He had actually came to that conculsion sometime during the night. Harry knew all about their research, not only did Draco tell him everything but harry had put the financing for the research, he would have had access to all the data he needed.

"What though?" Hermione questioned. The fact that she was here asking him told Draco that she didn't know that answer to her question.

Draco thought for a minute before replying. "It would have to be something that was digested quickly. He would know the first thing to do would be to pump his stomach."

Hermione nodded slowly then sighing she said what she had been thinking for the last few days. "Draco, I don't think Harry did this to himself."

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I hope that you forgive me for the wait. My laptop crashed and I had to wait for it to get fixed.

I have found the most incredible story. I have not read anything like it. I absolutely LOVE it. It is called _Growing Pains _by SensiblyTainted and it is here on FFN. It is on my favorites. I encourage everyone to go read it. It is amazing.

Also, in other news, I have decided to re-post '_I Understand'_. It will not be soon but I will re-post it within the next few months. Give me time to get over my anger.

ENJOY!

LMG


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.

Thank you to Merlin, GoldenSunnyGrl, and Malombra for being such great BETA'S.

AU. Established relationship. Harry/Draco pairing.

ENJOY!

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Draco nodded slowly. It was a testament on how tired he really was for the fact that that thought had not occurred to him. He raised the cool cloth and started wiping the sweat from Harry's chest as he thought.

"Who? What? Ginny?" He asked Hermione as he continued.

"Honestly, I don't know. I don't think it was Ginny, she loves Harry, just as you do, and I don't see her doing this."

"But she kept him from me for a month!" Draco snarled.

"She was doing what Harry asked of her, Draco." Hermione said softly. She waited as the silence grew and she knew that the other man would never forgive Ginny for what she had done, even if she had done it because Harry had begged her too.

"I have narrowed it down to three different drugs, all muggle, that it could have been. The problem now arises which one, if we pick the wrong one and give him the antidote for it, it could cause more problems than we already have." Hermione sat on the other side of Harry and gently pushed his hair from his forehead.

"Why muggle? Wouldn't they use a potion?"

Hermione shook her head slowly, "I think it was done that way purposefully. Think on it, why would you, a pureblooded wizard who despises anything muggle, think to look for a muggle drug?"

"I wouldn't. But, surely they know of your friendship? They would know you would be here."

"True, but I can hardly classify myself as muggle anymore, Draco. I haven't been back to that world since my parents funeral. Neither has Harry. We _wouldn't _look for it."

"Okay. Why can't we give him the antidote to each drug?"

"His system can't handle it. We have to know which drug it is before we do anything else."

"How do we find out?"

"I have contacted Dr. Rosbierre. You remember him?"

"Didn't he sign off on our beginning research grant?"

"That's him. He gave me the three possibilities. The good thing for us is that there is only one place you can get these drugs besides on the black market."

"The hospital in London?"

"No, Draco, these drugs are not used for humans."

Draco shot her a confused look. Not used for humans? "What?"

"They are sedatives used mainly for horses."

Draco was speechless with shock. "Horses?" He choked out.

Hermione nodded. "I think they gave that to him first, over the course of months. Then when he was unable to fight it anymore, they gave him our potion. When we pumped his stomach, we got our potion out but the sedatives remained in his system."

"Months?"

"I think so, that would explain his behavior of the last months."

"He was being drugged and I didn't know!" Draco threw down the cloth onto Harry's chest and backed away from him quickly.

"Draco!" Hermione jumped up and rushed around the bed to his side. "You couldn't have known. I didn't know!"

Draco didn't hear her anymore. All that she had told him in the last few minutes, and his own suspicions, were crowding his head. With a small whimper he reached up his shaking hand and grabbed fistfuls of hair. With a cry he slowly sank down the wall and landed on his side. He didn't hear Hermione's voice calling out to the healers. He didn't hear the calming spell aimed at him and he didn't feel when they lowered him onto a newly conjured couch.

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Draco woke with a moan. His head was pounding and his body hurt. He lay there for a few moments before his and Hermione's conversation came back to him. Harry had been drugged! Over the course of months! And he hadn't known!

He forced his eyes open and turned his head to stare at his husbands still form on the bed beside him. He smiled slightly when he saw Ron asleep in the chair he had been occupying for close to two weeks. He got up as quietly as he could but Ron's Auror training kicked in and before Draco had fully sat up, Ron's wand was pointed in his face bore the other man had even woke up.

"Sorry, Malfoy." Ron apologized as he put his wand back down on his lap from where he had snatched it so quickly.

"Where's Hermione?" Draco grimaced at his scratchy voice and nodded thanks to Ron when he handed him a glass of cool water.

"She took some blood and then went to the lab. She was going to try to isolate the drug so that we could give him the right antidote."

"How long has she been gone?"

"You've been out about seven hours, so about six."

He was about to ask another question when the door was slammed open. Both men turned, wands raised, to see a flushed and panting Hermione standing there.

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No authors note for this chapter!

ENJOY!

LMG


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.

Thank you to Merlin, GoldenSunnyGrl, and Malombra for being such great BETA'S.

AU. Established relationship. Harry/Draco pairing.

ENJOY!

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Hermione ran into the room. "No time to talk. Do what I say."

All this was said as she sent spell after spell at the unconscious Harry. Within seconds of entering the room she had petrified him, bound him, and levitated him.

Ron and Draco just stared at her in shock.

"We have to go!" She screamed at them. Taking something out of her pocket she directed Harry towards the other two men. The second she was close enough for them to reach out and grab him she yelled the activation for the port-key she held in her hand.

Right before disappearing they saw the door slam open and three cloaked and masked wizards rush in slinging spells.

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"What the fuck was that!" Draco screamed as they landed roughly in a small clearing.

"Oh God," Hermione groaned. "I hate traveling this way." She leaned over and vomited well away from where they would be walking.

"Let's go." Ron said as he took her in his arms. He handed her wand over to Draco so that he could levitate Harry behind him. They walked to the end of the clearing where there was a small cabin.

Setting Harry down on the couch in the small living space he turned and watched as Ron comforted his wife and conjured up some water for her to drink.

"What happened?" Ron whispered into the stillness that had settled once she was better.

"I took the blood from Harry and ran a test on it. I found what it was that they had been giving him. I had gone to storage to get something when three men came in and started asking questions. They killed Ginny, Ron!" Hermione sobbed quietly. Draco flinched though he didn't feel much loss. Ron's face paled and he tightened his grip on his wife's shoulder.

"What happened then, Mione?"

"She didn't tell them anything. She didn't Ron." Hermione got control over herself. "They saw my notes and then left. I snuck out and managed to grab the port-key to Harry's hideout that was in the safe. They saw me running down the hall but I was able to delay them."

"Who was it?" Draco asked harshly.

"I don't know. I didn't recognize them. But they understood my notes."

"So, someone you are familiar working with."

"Yes, but, out of those seven people three are in this room and two are dead. That leaves.."

"Rosbierre." Draco finished harshly.

"Yes." Hermione whispered.

"I always thought he was too nosey." Ron said.

"But why Harry?"

"God! I'm such a fool! What perfect guinea pig to try our potion on than the most powerful wizard of our time?" Draco said bitterly.

"That doesn't make sense. Why Harry? And why poison him first?" Hermione wailed.

"It makes perfect sense." Draco snapped. "Remember our first meeting, he wanted us to use Azkaban prisoners! When Harry flat out refused he said we would regret it."

"Our find was going to save countless wizards Draco!" Hermione screamed, "not kill them."

"But it would if the person was already dying." Ron said flatly. "Even I remember the argument you guys had over that."

Hermione slumped and Draco sat down by Harry's side.

"All this to prove his point?" Draco whispered. "That can't be it?"

"Not all of it I suspect." Ron said wearily. "Taking out Harry was a bonus point."

Draco flinched and was about to start yelling when he saw Hermione nodding her head slowly.

"We all know he wanted the Minister spot and how much money he spent trying to get it.'

"And when Harry won without even running…"

"And then didn't turn it down…"

"He decided to kill him…"

"Merlin!" Draco sobbed and laid his head against Harry's barely moving chest.

"Draco," Hermione said softly.

Draco looked up at her to see her holding a vial and a syringe. "The antidote?'

Hermione nodded and Draco smiled for the first time in weeks.

"Buck up and let me get this in him. Once he is well we can make a plan." Hermione said as she shooed him away from Harry's side.

"Plan?" Ron questioned.

Hermione smiled at him and both men shivered at the coldness and the promise in that one smile. "Yes, I do believe we have a visit to plan?"

Draco laughed and Ron just shook his head at the two. "I still say you should have been in Slytherin, Mione."

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Well, this was never suppose to be a long one. Got this in my head to add…we'll see where it goes.

ENJOY!

LMG


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.

Thank you to Merlin, GoldenSunnyGrl, and Malombra for being such great BETA'S.

AU. Established relationship. Harry/Draco pairing.

ENJOY!

**CHAPTER FIVE**

The antidote would take a few days to make its way completely through his system, but once it did both Draco and Hermione were sure that Harry would be fine. That didn't mean that they were taking anything by chance. Countless spells were set to clean his blood and induce vomiting while they let his fever rise to dangerous heights to build more antibodies. The extra antibodies would help fight the poison in his system.

On the third day, Harry moaned and Draco cried silently from his seated position by his bedside. He had only left this spot to clean and relieve himself. Ron, who had taken over the cooking, had brought his meals to him. Hermione had tried to get him to go outside to walk but he had refused. He wanted to be the first thing that Harry saw when he woke.

None of them were sure what Harry's metal state would be like once he was fully awake. The general consensus was that he was going to feel guilty. For Ginny's death, Draco's hurt, and his and Hermione's work. They each knew that nothing they could say would stop Harry's guilt. They made plans on what to do to counteract his actions once he woke.

They also made a plan to go after Rosbierre. Hermione's plan was brilliant. Draco kept insisting she should have been a Slytherin, much to her blushing and Ron's chagrin. Ron had taken care of the tactical aspect while Hermione had done the logistics. Draco had just sat there and let them plan, as he and Harry were going to be the 'power'. He didn't feel the least let out though, they had planned the war down to the last second of the last battle. Going after the man who had done this to all of them was a piece of cake compared to that.

All they were waiting on was Harry. With that one groan, Draco's heartbeat sped up. Harry was waking. He ran to the door and called for the other two before taking his usual place next to Harry.

"He's awake?" Ron asked as they came through the door.

"Not yet, but soon." Draco replied as he watched Harry fight to get awake. Although he had lost a lot of weight during his 'illness', Harry was still the most beautiful thing Draco had ever seen. He gently wiped his sweaty brow as he called to him softly to wake.

Harry's eyes fluttered and then opened just a little. A heavy, pain-filled, moan was loud in the quiet of the cabin. The other three waited anxiously for Harry to wake fully. With a gasp, Draco found himself looking into brilliant green eyes for the first time in many months.

"Harry." He breathed as he lifted a shaking hand to touch Harry's cheek.

Harry frowned as he struggled with waking completely. He opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was a croak. Hermione handed Draco a glass of water without comment. In fact, Draco was surprised that they had kept quiet. After all, they were Gryffindors.

Draco slowly poured water into Harry's mouth, stopping after a minute so that he didn't choke. He was very tense, all the talk was just that, he had no idea what was going to happen now that Harry was awake. Would he still want Draco? Was the poison what had ripped them apart or was it something else? Would Harry want to try to repair their relationship?

As the quiet lengthened, Draco began to worry. As Harry struggled, Draco grew more worried. When Harry looked away from him to stare at the ceiling, Draco flinched and not wanting to stay seated, he got up and walked to the window to stare out at the field at the back of Harry's cabin. He wasn't taking in the beautiful flowers but instead was seeing in his mind's eye flashes of his and Harry's life together.

As always, their first kiss, was his first memory. The countless fights had been overshadowed by that one memory. They had had a lot of bad blood to work through before that kiss could happen. Draco still didn't like muggles all that much. But that was one thing they had decided to never argue about. By the time the first kiss had happened, Draco was already head over heels in love with Harry. He didn't think Harry was in love with him at that time but Draco was positive that he had cared for him deeply.

So lost in his thoughts, it wasn't until Ron touched his shoulder that he realized he had been speaking to him.

"Hermione put him back to sleep. He was still disoriented." Ron said quietly.

Draco nodded his thanks and then walked out of the small room to go outside. It was the first time he had been outside the cabin since the day they had arrived. He needed to gather himself together and knew he wasn't going to be able to do that in front of the other two. Draco had never been one to show others his emotions. In the years that he and Harry had been together, Draco had gotten better about showing others how he felt, but since Harry had left him, he had slid back into his Slytherin habits. No one could get close to him. He had actually vowed never to let anyone as close as Harry had been. He had never wanted to hurt that way again. Knowing what he knew now was killing Draco. He had a right to his anger, didn't he? Yes, it seemed that Harry's leaving had not been by his choice but still…Draco had never known that there was something wrong with Harry because he had not let him know.

To him, that was not a good sign. Had Harry fallen out of love with him? It hurt to have to think that thought but what else was he suppose to think. How could he not have known that he was being poisoned? Or something was else wrong?

Draco sighed. He was so tired. Emotionally and physically. He wasn't sure he could deal with anything else, not without copious amounts of alcohol to deaden his head and heart.

"Draco?" Hermione's soft voice came from behind him.

Draco turned and tried to give her a small smile but he knew by the look on her face that it was a pathetic excuse for a facial expression.

"You okay?"

"I will be." Draco said, "once he wakes up and is better, I will be fine."

"You think he is going to leave you again." Hermione wasn't the most brilliant witch of the last twenty years for nothing.

"You see," Draco couldn't help the bitterness that heavily laced his tone, "that's the point. He never came back to me. So, he can't leave me _again _if he never came back to me in the first place."

"Oh, Draco," Hermione sighed. She had heard the bitterness but she had also heard the hurt.

Draco shrugged but didn't say anything else for a few minutes.

"Go back to your husband, Hermione. I'll be fine."

"Ron's my husband, but, you are my friend. And right now you need me more."

"I need no one." Draco snapped as he whirled from her and walked away. He knew she would make him pay for that comment later but as of this moment, he didn't care. His hurt was overwhelming him.

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It was hours after dark before Draco made his way back to the cabin. He had thought about what he was going to do about Harry. And the one thing that he had decided on was to do nothing. For the longest time all he had wanted was answers. Now that he had them, he wished he didn't. Draco was going to stay in the background. Harry was going to wake up, they would tell him what had been going on, the plan would be come together, and after that…well, Draco had a seat in one of his favorite pubs reserved just for him and he planned to make use of it.

Maybe if he drank enough, the fact that he couldn't feel would finally be easier to deal with.

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Well….that was emotion filled, wasn't it? Probably two chapters left.

ENJOY!

LMG


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.

Thank you to Merlin, GoldenSunnyGrl, and Malombra for being such great BETA'S.

AU. Established relationship. Harry/Draco pairing.

ENJOY!

**CHAPTER SIX**

Draco kept to the promise he had made to himself. It was hard, numbing, but he did it. It was lunchtime, he wasn't hungry, and he had finally escaped the cabin. The walls had been closing in around him and he could barely breathe by the time Harry was awake. The only problem was- he had yet to speak. He laid there and stared at the ceiling as Hermione whispered to him what had transpired the last few months. Every few seconds she would reach up and tenderly wipe a tear from his cheek. Though her voice was to low for Draco to hear what she was saying, her tone and her expression were clear to any who was looking.

Draco had seen the sideway looks that his husband was giving him but didn't acknowledge them. The only way he could survive the next few days was to limit any contact between the two of them. He was almost positive that it was not going to be easy, or that he would survive, but his promise to himself just yesterday was all that was keeping him from breaking down completely.

After a tense few minutes, Draco decided to leave the small cabin. Having Harry look at him, even if it was in a way to make him think he wasn't looking, had hurt more than he had thought it would. So, he had quietly left the cabin and started walking. It was a very mild day and he found himself sitting on the banks of a small babbling brook, lost in thought. He let his hand trail in the cold, clear water and he held only the faintest interest in the blood that was washed away from the middle of his palm. The deep open wounds, where his nails had been embedded into his palm, were now numb from the cold water.

His mind was also numb. He had always been able to keep his emotions buried. Harry had changed that. For the first time that he could remember, he had let emotions well up in him and it had been scary. Loving Harry had been one of the most wonderful, scariest, and profound things he had ever experienced.

His whole body went numb when he thought about that statement-had been-was he not in love with Harry anymore? For the last seven months he had wanted Harry to return to him. To love him again. When he had found out the reason why he had left he had made a promise to never leave him again. But when Harry pulled away from him, looking so scared, his whole body had went numb again. Just like the first 16 years of his life.

A small hitch in his breathing and he was crying. Though he wasn't sure it would do any good or that it would make him feel better, he couldn't seem to stop. For hours he sat there, crying and hurting.

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Ron had watched the crying young man, from a safe distance. Draco was a Slytherin and, always would be, being married to a Gryffindor would never change that. And one thing Slytherins didn't like was being caught showing emotions. This was only the third time he had ever seen the young man without his mask. The first had been the night he had come to them, asking for sanctuary, the second had been the night that Harry had proposed to him, and the third was now. He wasn't sure he liked it.

Harry hadn't spoke to Hermione except to ask one simple question: Did Draco hate him now?

Both he and Hermione had stumbled over themselves to assure him that Draco didn't hate him. It was Hermione, bless her soul, that had brought up the reason for his, Draco's, reaction. He had never seen such a look of pain, longing, and love as he had when his best friend had assured his wife that he still loved his husband so very much.

When she had questioned him about the last few months it was with shock that they were told that he didn't remember them. The last thing he could remember was the night he had been on his way home to tell Draco the good news. Harry broke down crying when she had told him what had happened and what he had done. When she had told him that he had been away for seven months, his grief had been inconsolable and she had gently asked if he wanted her to put him back to sleep.

The answer, an emphatic no, was not very loud but it was very clear. It took hours to calm him down and when he was finally calm enough Harry had sent him to find his husband. Ron was standing, thinking about what he would say to Draco, unsure if it was too late.

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Ron quietly waited for Draco to stop crying. Though he had been friends with the ex-Slytherin for a few years, he was still prickly about some things. When the shoulders before him had stopped shaking, he stepped from behind the tree he had been hiding behind, and deliberately stepped on a stick to alert the other man of his presence.

Draco whipped around with a scowl and snapped, "what?"

Ron sighed. He was right, Draco's walls were up. "Harry is asking to speak to you."

Draco sighed heavily and shook his head. "I can't Ron. Not until this thing is done. He needs to concentrate on healing."

"Bullshit." Ron snarled. "He won't 'concentrate' on anything until you go and talk to him. Draco, he doesn't remember anything."

"That matters not."

"The hell it doesn't. Go and talk to him."

"No."

"You are being an arse! Harry's just as stubborn as you are, you know."

"This isn't being stubborn, Ron. This is being practical." Draco said in a cold voice though his face was very red. He stood and faced his husband's best friend with a shrug. "I can't deal with this. We need to go after Rosbierre finished first."

"Harry doesn't give a shit about Rosbierre and you know it!"

Draco looked to the ground and nodded, "I do know it. But that is my decision, Ron. Please, go back to your wife." And he walked away.

"Where are you going?" Ron yelled at him.

"I don't know." Draco yelled back. Ron could tell that he had been trying to keep his voice cold and unemotional but it backfired on him.

"Damn it!" Ron growled and stomped back towards the small cabin. Hermione was going to have a stroke!

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"That fool!" Hermione had been waiting outside of the cabin for them to come back. The second she had saw him walk up alone she knew that Draco had run.

"Tell me about." Ron sighed wearily.

"I knew he was upset but with what happened in the hospital I thought he had worked through it."

Ron put his arms around her, "he is hurting. I think this has hurt him more than Harry leaving him. I saw his face when Harry pulled away from him. Hermione, he was crying."

"Oh, God." Hermione couldn't stop her own tears. They had been so happy and she hadn't understood why Harry would walk away from that.

With an angry sniff she pulled herself from her husbands arms. "Go stay with Harry. I'll go get Draco."

Ron shook his head and felt just a small bit of fear for the other man. But seconds later it was gone. He wouldn't mind seeing what she was going to do but with a smile he walked into the cabin and set about trying to keep Harry calm until they came back.

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"What the fuck are you thinking?" Hermione snapped as she walked down the trail towards Draco. She knew he wouldn't go to far so it was just a matter of figuring out which way he would head from the stream.

Draco sighed and gave a little bitter laugh. "Can't leave anything alone, can you, Weasley?"

"Don't Weasley me, you bastard."

"Tut, tut, such language."

Hermione grabbed his shoulder and got right up to his face, "you listen to me Draco Potter, you are going to walk your arse back to that cabin and you are going to talk to your husband. One _foot _out of line and _imperio _will be the last thing that you hear for a long time."

"Merlin, Hermione." Draco stared at her in astonishment. He'd had her anger directed at him countless times but never like this.

"March, mister!" Hermione pushed him towards the cabin. When he didn't move quick enough for her she whipped her wand out and poked him in the side.

"ACK!" Draco made a sound like a cat had been stepped on but turned to head back towards the cabin. Truthfully, he was glad she had come after him. He had been standing there trying to gather the courage to come back on his own. Of course, he would NEVER tell her that.

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Also, I am reposting 'I Understand'. Thank you to all that kept at me, and you know who you are, to get back to writing it. And I have a new one that I would like to go read, it is called 'Potter, Harry Potter'. I think it is a funny little start to a maybe nice little story. Well, actually that doesn't make any sense but please go and read it and let me know what you think. I am sorry about such a time lapse. Holidays were a more stressful time this year than normal for me. I also broke my hand, don't ask-please!, so it was rough typing at all. I actually type about 150-160 words a min but I was hen-pecking it through this. I hope that you all are not TOO mad at the big delay.

ENJOY!

LMG


	8. Chapter 8

**THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE.**

In the past few months my family and I have had to deal with multiple deaths. Unfortunately for me, I seem to be the one in the family that is able to deal with the things that need to be done better than most. It has not been easy.

I wanted to let everyone know that I have not given up on my writing. I plan on starting the next chapters for each of my stories soon and just wanted everyone to know that I am still here and will be back shortly.

Please be patient.

Thank you,

LMG


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.

Thank you to Malombra for being such a great BETA.

AU. Established relationship. Harry/Draco pairing.

ENJOY!

**FOOL**

**Chapter 7**

Ron just watched as his wife forced the blonde haired man in the cabin they had all been staying in for the last few days. He sure hoped she knew what she was doing. Draco was hurting too much for this and he hadn't thought this was a good idea but said nothing to stop her. Besides, Hermione was usually right. Seeing the two of them tearing themselves apart was something Ron had never expected to ever see. He could understand Draco's side of things more than Harry's because they had had to see Draco fall apart when Harry had left him.

Seeing the set of his wife's shoulder's he wisely kept his mouth shut.

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Being pushed into the cabin was a hell of a lot different than walking through the door. He was able to throw a scathing glance at Hermione before she slammed the door in his face. Rubbing at his ear he turned to take the last step into the room.

Deciding to do nothing was a stupid move he realized that now. Here was his chance to get his answers that he had practically drank himself to death for and he was to scared to ask them. How pathetic had he become?

The room was darker now and he had to squint to see the bed at the back of the room. It was empty. He quickly looked around and sighed in relief when he saw Harry propped up on the small settee by the front window. His husband looked pale and the cup in his hand was shaking.

Harry watched him with his green eyes searching his face to gage his mood.

Draco didn't flinch but it took everything he had not too.

"Sit, please." Harry motioned to the place beside him but Draco knew he would never be able to sit that close to him.

Taking a chair from the table he set it in front of Harry and slowly sank into it. He ignored the tightening of the other man's mouth. The silence lengthened. Draco didn't know how to start this conversation. In fact, he now realized that this conversation was moot. He didn't care. It didn't matter to him anymore. He didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, his not caring.

Sighing Harry took a sip of his tea and then set the cup and saucer aside. "I want you to know…," when he paused Draco could feel his heart stop. "I never…stopped…loving you."

He was concerned by the stilting way Harry talked but Draco just sat and waited.

"I remember…feeling weird. And then nothing. Hermione told me…about Ginny. Told me…all that happened. I didn't under…stand."

Draco wanted to sooth the pain he could hear in his voice but stopped himself. He instinctively knew that Harry needed to say this to help himself heal. And if there was one thing more he could do for his husband before going their separate ways was this.

"When I did…your hurt. I am so sorry, Draco."

Draco could only shake his head. He could tell by Harry's tears when he woke up that he had been sorry but at the time his own hurt had been to great to care. He saw the tears that had been gathering since he walked in finally start to fall from those loving green eyes and he was lost. Even when he had been alone and hurting and not knowing the _why_ he had still loved Harry.

"I know." It was all I could offer him at this time.

"I love you." Harry's voice was small and wavering and defeated. It broke Draco's heart all over again.

"I know." Once again, all I could offer him.

"I could hear…something calling my name." Harry took quick breaths to try and calm himself but I could tell it wasn't working. "Whispering to me…I was so scared. All lies…I heard lies. It hurt."

Draco didn't understand what Harry was trying to say anymore. Had the drug done this to him? He didn't think so. And then he remembered the other drug Hermione had said was given to him and tried to remember the side effects she had listed. Was hallucinations one of them?

"I tried screaming…no one heard." Merlin, this made me feel like such an arse. Had he been trying to tell me and I hadn't listened?

"And then silence…deep and fearless. Freeing. I heard your voice again."

This must have been in the infirmary room once they had gotten the first potion out of him.

"I hoped every…thing was fine. Then I woke up…again. Your face…I knew I did…that to you. I was so…ashamed. I hated myself." Draco wanted to stop him there but didn't. "Then you left. I still did…not under…stand." I could tell he was getting tired.

"Hermione told me…about the drugs." I was surprised at the plural word. I hadn't expected that but I shouldn't have been surprised. Hermione didn't lie.

"I didn't know…"

"I know." Damn, I sounded like a broken record now. I could tell he was getting very tired. Harry was slumping on the couch now and his hands and voice was shaking terribly. I couldn't stop from reaching out and laying a hand on top of his, "look, get some rest."

Harry shook his head violently. "No, I have to…tell-"

"No," Draco interrupted him gently, "You have to get well."

"I'm fine." Ah, there is my stubborn Harry back.

"No, you are not." Draco tried to pull his hand away but the other man grasped his fearfully.

"Not leaving."

Draco smiled and managed to pull his hand away this time. "No, I'm not."

"Good."

"Besides, I do believe we have a plan to _plan_."

Both men chuckled and the looked up and around at the snort behind them. Hermione and Ron stood at the door, both looked worried but were trying to hide it. Hermione had her arms crossed across her chest and a stubborn look on her face.

"Eat, sleep, then _plan_."

None of the men in the room even tried to protest. They all knew the futility of that endeavor.

Draco spared a glance at Harry as he stood to help make dinner. He had to turn away from those searching green eyes. They made him remember too much.

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Does anyone know what FanBox is?

ENJOY!

LMG


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.

Thank you to Malombra for being such a great BETA.

AU. Established relationship. Harry/Draco pairing.

ENJOY!

**FOOL**

**Chapter 8**

Dinner was a silent affair. Harry was so tired he didn't eat much before he fell asleep. Draco jumped to catch him and was surprised when Hermione and Ron silently stepped out of the small cabin so that he could take care of his husband without them watching.

"Oh, Harry…" he whispered as he hugged him tightly to him. He only let it last for a few minutes before he got himself under control and managed to clean him up and get him back in bed in only minutes.

Draco stood and watched him sleep for a while before he walked to the door and let the other two back in.

"What now?" Ron asked as soon as they were settled on the small couch. Draco had dragged a dining room chair over and was slumped into it.

"Merlin, I don't know."

"I do." As usual Hermione's voice was decisive and proud. "It was our potion and research that did this." Draco nodded. "One thing he forgot though…"

Suddenly Draco smiled. "You didn't?"

"I most certainly did." Hermione smirk would put even Professor Snape to shame.

"Did what?"

"We put in a failsafe. Without a stabilizer the potion will breakdown into its respective parts within 36-48 hours. I thought she had taken it out. I wasn't…as attentive…as I should have been lately."

"It's ok Draco. I understood." Hermione smiled gently at him and the matter was over and done with.

"Ok, so what does this stabilizer thingy do and how was it used on Harry?" Ron was a good strategist but had not a lick of potions sense. One of the reasons he had made his twins brothers list of people to 'test' their potions on.

Hermione sighed, "it was used on Harry before the failsafe was put in. We didn't know that he had been dosed with it so we didn't see the symptoms. Along with the other potion he was slowly going insane."

"Fuck." Draco said lowly as he tried to keep the tears at bay. "I didn't see it."

"Neither did I and I should have. After all, it was my research. I knew full well what it would do and never even saw it coming." Hermione didn't have his strength and couldn't stop the tears.

"But…" Ron's voice was slow, he knew he didn't understand most of what the two talked about when it came to their work, but he had a good helping of common sense. "How, _why_, did it effect Harry that way? I know that's not what the potion was to be used for."

"You're right it wasn't." Draco nodded, "so, what did they do to the potion to change its properties?"

"They wouldn't have had to do much." Hermione said as she summoned her satchel to her. Inside she had put all the notes that she had been able to grab before they ran. "Remember, the initial testing showed that too much belladonna and the potion was ruined, too little and it was nothing but a strong cleaning agent."

"But if they added crystallized Dragon's blood _before _the belladonna then that would counteract it thereby causing the potion to change from a mind healing potion to a mind _**controlling**_ potion." Draco said as if just remembering something.

"Exactly."

"So the failsafe did what?"

"It made the potion ineffective if any blood was added to it." Draco said slowly. "Wait…they would have had to add the Dragon's blood only seconds before getting Harry to drink it."

"So that means Harry was already on the hallucinogens before they gave him our potion." It was clear she was trying very hard to contain her emotions.

"And that would be why it took so long for the effects to become apparent." Draco sighed.

"But we got to him in time, right?" Ron was now even more worried.

"I don't know." Hermione was now openly crying.

"We may have only prolonged his suffering." Draco could not stop the tears from overflowing now. He had not cried in months. He had told himself he wouldn't cry over Harry ever again. Now he couldn't stop his sobs and longer. He had just gotten Harry back and now they might still lose him. Never mind that less than 3 hours ago he was going to leave again.

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Harry slept for a few hours before he became restless. Draco was by his side when he woke. He and Hermione had worked on a potion to give him that would help purge as much of the potion from his system as it could. Unfortunately, they didn't know the amount he had been given. They knew that it couldn't be much as he would be dead but if they had given the potion to him in increasing amounts it could be throughout his system and they wouldn't ever be able to rid him of it. If, by some miracle, his system wasn't saturated by the potion they would be able to get the remaining potion out of his body. It would just be a long few months before they would know.

"Hey." Draco said as he held a glass up to the chapped lips.

Harry nodded warily but drank from the glass without question. He pulled away when he had his fill. Draco tried to move away but was stop by the surprisingly strong grip Harry had on his wrist.

"Tell me."

Draco couldn't look away. Harry always knew when he was trying to deceive him. It took more control than he thought he had to deny him. With a gentle but firm twist he got his wrist free and stood to step back.

He was surprised again when Harry tried to come after him. Without a word he helped him up from the floor and settles him onto the couch. Hermione and Ron were waiting and it was Hermione that spoke. Harry never took his eyes from Draco when she explained what they had figured out.

When she was done speaking he only said one thing and it made all of them smile.

"He only had one shot at me."

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ENJOY!

LMG


	11. Chapter 11

Hello Everyone,

I want to thank everyone for all their kind words and thoughts that were sent to me about my mother. I never expected it and it warmed my heart.

Mom passed away on Monday at 8pm. She slowly fell into a coma and her body just gave out.

I am sorry but I am putting everything on hold for right now. I don't know for how long but I had to at least let you all know.

Your well wishes and prayers were welcomed.

Thank you for all your kind words.

She is now at peace and I will forever remember her that way.

LMG


End file.
